When the Internet fails you...

My Internet is down, and hence the lack of activity on this blog. For some reason I just can't get online! So here am I on my mother's computer trying to get caught up on over a week's worth of emails, blog reading and writing, and the rest of the frivolous things that I do online that now are SO DAMN IMPORTANT. And just so happened that the week my computer decided to flake out Michael Jackson died! There's so much that I want to say, I'll have to save it for another post at another time.

I couldn't come back to this blog without talking about how much I missed it. Can someone tell me how I / we / everyone has become so addicted to the Internet? When there's a black out you break out some candles and have a lazy day. When your computer doesn't connect there's a whole new physical reaction. It's easier for me to deal with a blackout than no Internet! Even with a two month old baby keeping me busy - and happy - I would walk by my laptop, with dark screen, and feel loss. I yearned for the Internet.

And here was my week...

Tuesday "Denial" - I rebooted my computer all day on Tuesday hoping that somehow, the little connectors inside would fix themselves, remembering how much fun I had online just the day before. How could this be?!?!?!

Wednesday "Physical and Emotional Pain" - Maybe I did have a computer problem. I ached and ached for my computer. For my email accounts. For Twitter. For Blogger. For iGoogle. For Facebook. The pain.

Thursday "Adjust to Living Without" - I decided to pick myself up. There are people all over the world that don't have the Internet. I can do this!!

Friday "Allow Yourself to Move On" - I only rebooted my computer twice on Friday - you know, just in case. I continued to learn to move on. I actually used the Yellow Pages - the real offline version - for the first time in years.

Saturday "Start Living Again" - I completely computer-free day. And it felt great.


Being computer-less for the week has not COMPLETELY sucked. Well it did but I dealt with it in my own unique way. :)

More from the mind of "humps" soon.

XOXOX

The Lost Post

Yesterday, I felt inspired. I took some time out while reading my emails on someone else's computer to write a blog post. It was written in a word program so that I wouldn't use up much more of the already slow internet connection.

I wandered away from the computer to check on Baby, when the thing decided to restart itself. With no auto save, my blog post was gone. Lost. Forever.

I assure you that it was a great post. Reflective and honest. Full of wit. I spoke of my past and looked ahead at my future. You would have loved that post. And I know that if I try to rewrite it, it just won't be the same.

So instead I would like to dedicate this space to all the lost blog posts, short stories, reports, speeches, anything written anywhere that due to technical malfunctions were lost. Those written masterpieces that left us before their time. Before they were able to be truly loved, honored and appreciated. Please feel free to comment about your experiences as well. That way they may live on.

In mourning,
~ humps

Wrapped Around Her Finger

I have a new baby. She's just over 6 weeks. She's adorable.

She has me wrapped around her little finger. She is playing me real good.

She is a good baby who cries when she's wet or hungry but really doesn't cry that much. She sleeps well. When she's awake is so bright and alert. She smiles and laughs. Moves her head from side to side. She swats at things and grabs hold. On her stomach she pushes up with her arms and kicks her legs like she can't wait to be mobile. My six week old thinks she should crawl. Now.

During the daytime I sing her songs. Some of them are children's songs that I remember from my youth albeit with a few made up lyrics, others are originals written just for her. To be honest, most of the songs I sing are Christmas carols, because I know much more of them than children's songs. (Hey, I'm new at this whole mom thing).

When we are not singing, reading stories, playing, nursing, Baby puts her head into my chest and falls asleep.

But as I said earlier she has me wrapped around her little finger. She is playing me real good.

You see this child of mine has decided that she doesn't like typical sleeping arrangements. If I put her down in her crib or bassinet she is awake in minutes. So I pick her up, hold her against my chest and rock her to sleep. I try again. In five minutes I am picking her up, holding her against my chest and rocking her sleep.

She has me wrapped around her little finger. She is playing me real good.

So we sit in the comfy chair that I have in the living room of our condo and I come up with a plan. Not the plan that I should be coming up with as a parent to correct this behaviour. Oh no. I plan what I will during the five minutes that she's asleep in her crib. I prioritize those things like getting something from the fridge and going to the washroom. I plan a route throughout the condo to maximize the time.

And when she cries I always pick her up, hold her against my chest and rock her to sleep. She has me wrapped around her little finger.