January 19, 2009

Baby Names

It seems like forever ago that dad-to-be and I would sit and daydream about one day - far, far in the distant future - having children. We would talk about our own upbringings and what we wanted for our kids. We would imagine what they would look like, whether they would have my hair and his nose. We would talk about soccer lessons and dance classes, art lessons and library visits. We would even talk about baby names.

Dad-to-be was more ahead of the game on baby names than I was. There was always a story about a cousin, aunt, uncle, brother or sister that could be honoured as the namesake of his future child, as was the tradition for many in the family (in fact his brother’s son was given Dad-to-be’s name and EVERYONE was named after his mother). He already had a long list of family members / potential baby names accumulated over the years.

In the early days of our baby daydreaming, before any of it was at all a REAL short term possibility, he would mention a few baby names. I would respond, as the loving, supportive, accommodating partner that I am, that it was such an interesting story. And of course we can name our son, one day, far far from now, after your cousin. I had no real options so it sounded good at the time.

But now it’s a different story. Now that I am actually having a baby, now that there’s a little person going inside of me, those names and those stories that he mentioned during our euphoric daydreams about the future seem stupid. Yeah, I said it.

We were having a conversation about names a few months ago – when I was maybe 5 months along. When he mentioned again those names that he had chosen so long ago my reaction was “No way! Are you kidding me? I don’t want to name this baby [insert name here].” He had a couple of alternates, and went on to list then. Of course, they definitely wouldn’t do. I said no to all of them. I could see that he wasn’t impressed. He said, “Well, what do you want to name the baby then? Let’s hear your ideas.” I knew the door that I would be walking into at that moment. Anything that I would say would be shot down just for spite. And really, I didn’t have any names. I needed to regroup and try this again.

Fast forward to last week. We have been successfully avoiding the baby naming process. I have been doing some thinking (which as you know by now, includes research). Equipped with my new book of 60,000 baby names, I can now address baby naming. This particularly session went very well. I’m pleased to report that we’re making some ground. We have a few great options that WE BOTH LOVE for a boy and a few ideas that need to be built upon for a girl.

My goal before going into labour is to have three girl names and three boy names. Reasonable, no? But the pressure of having a great name that will identify this person that we’re making, for the rest of their lives, is a pretty big deal. It’s a high pressure situation.

And if it doesn’t work I can always try to pregnancy card.

“I just gave birth for [insert labour time here] hours and carried this baby for almost 10 months!! I should be able to name him/her!!!” And then I’ll start crying. Because the baby is getting his last name anyway, I really should be able to call the shots on this one.

Here’s hoping,


Anonymous said...

I was fortunate that my husband and I agreed on names really quickly. Funny enough, we had talked about a boy's name about a month before I got pregnant (in an abstract "hey, if we have a boy, this would be a cool name" kinda way). He picked out male first name, female middle name... I picked out female first name, male middle name... and we both loved each other's choices!

One fun little baby naming tool you might enjoy playing with online is nymbler.com -- it takes names you like, and suggests other names in a similar vein. Also, if you haven't dropped by http://swistlebabynames.blogspot.com/ it's addictive to read -- all sorts of people sending in all sorts of baby name questions.

Have fuuuuun :)

Desert Homespun on 6:21:00 PM said...

I love the last bit! You absolutely should have naming rights, if all else fails to get an agreement...you're the one carrying the little one!

darkfairymomma on 7:37:00 PM said...

With our first 2, we had 2 names picked out heading into labor with one name in the lead. The lead name won out both times but it was nice to have those alternate names just in case we changed our minds after they were born. With our 3rd, we were too tired to think of an alternate or we would've had one for her too *LOL* Also, with each of the kids' names, one of us picked the first name and the other picked the middle name so we each had a hand in naming the kids. You'll know the right name when you see the little one :)

baby names list on 10:00:00 PM said...

More of the names that our parents gave is from our father , mother , uncle aunt or grandparents...they want to adopt us the names of their beloved parents who marks their life.

Damselfly on 10:07:00 PM said...

I think it must be a tricky business naming a baby after someone. There are bound to be other family members who feel hurt their name wasn't chosen.

Like your plan, we had a list of girl names and boy names and actually took the baby name book to the hospital with us. We finally named our baby only an hour before we left the hospital! Because we just couldn't make up our minds.

humpsNbump on 7:02:00 PM said...

Thanks so much for your comments guys. I asked Dad-to-be if we should do an online naming contest. You know, like the people decided. He didn't go for it. :) LOL. Maybe next baby.

~ humps

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