Censorship

It's been a while since I blogged. In addition to having a mountain of internet issues, I also came down with a tooth infection that had me cowling in bed for a while. My addiction to Orajel wasn't pretty.

But now I'm back on solid foods and back to the blog.

I've had this story to share for a while now that I've been dying to get out. A few weeks ago I was at a cousin's barbecue. Like most family gatherings there was no shortage of young kids running around and getting into trouble.

At one point in the day, I was upstairs in a bedroom changing and nursing "Baby" while the little kids in the house were in the hallway playing. It was easy for them to forget that I was there as they busied themselves with their games.

I was - for the most part - minding my business, when one of the kids started to sing songs. Not lullabies or nursery rhymes but radio hits. Think top ten on BET. It was innocent enough at first I guess. I thought about those YouTube videos that you would see of little kids dancing to music videos, or something. Until....

Until a little one - maybe around five years old - starting singing a new song call "Birthday Sex"!! And all the little kids joined in.

I was holding my two month old baby while a chorus of kindergartners where singing BIRTHDAY SEX, BIRTHDAY SEX in stereo outside of the room! My heart stopped beating, my body was convulsing and I think I threw up in my mouth a little. Then I froze.

After my life flashed before my eyes for a moment, I gathered myself and Baby and stormed out of the room - trying my best to be an intimidating parent. (I had no idea what to do.) They ran.

That was the exact moment that I decided that there would be full censorship in my own for "Baby". Poor girl. No radio. No MTV, VH1, BET, MuchMusic. No chance that I will catch her 5 year old self singing the next version of BIRTHDAY SEX, BIRTHDAY SEX while shaking her little booty. I don't care if she doesn't understand. That can't be good?! Can it?!!!

Call me Castro but our house is not a democracy. It is a full dictatorship and I'm in charge. You don't get a vote, little one. What I says goes. Period. End of story. At least while you're under my roof.

It all started when you were two months old.

XOXO humps